Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day 67

For anyone who is aware of the FULL extent of the trials we have faced in the last 6 months, it isn't a surprise to some to see me at my breaking point now.  To those who don't know but have heard of just SOME of the things we have gone through in the last 6 months and what I have posted here, it isn't a surprise to some to see that I am at my breaking point now. 
This surgery came as such a shock and was such an unexpected calamity.  I did find some happy moments out of that day, and I focused SO hard today to find those moments to hold onto until tomorrow's joy arrived.  At this point, I don't know what I would do without this blog for writing down a few happy thoughts, I don't know what I would do without some truly amazing people who REALLY ask me how I am EVERY single day, and let me answer negatively on the days that I need to.  I don't know what I would do without my amazing family who has created this "crisis center for Melissa"  Seriously! How sad and totally amazing at the same time is it that when something happens to me now, my mom, my dad, my husband, and our close family friends all take action and do what needs to get done with the kids.  Who needs Earthquake drills! Just come live with me for a month and I am sure I can prepare you and your family for any serious emotional, medical, or other emergency with REAL life action!

I am so grateful for the completely amazing people who call and let me accept their help.  I am so thankful I didn't go through this process alone.  My roommate from the hospital has been in constant contact with me and we have been able to shed tears together, ask questions like how the heck you get out of bed, and how are we going to LIVE with four holes in our stomach for the next couple of week.  What a blessing it was to go through it with someone else!

Today Joel went to a birthday party, had a play date, and helped around the house after school.  I haven't cried pretty much at ALL in front of him until today.  I just shared with him how AMAZING I thought he was and how it makes me SO happy to see how loving he is to his brother.  He is such an amazing kid and helps David and me so much!  I hope the one thing he learns from his mother's trials is the PURE love of Christ and empathy towards others in need.  Maybe he can look back on this and see how blessed we were for having such caring people surround our little family with each trial that has occurred.  Bless that dear child!

I am so thankful for a husband who knows how to cook, clean, do dishes, wash laundry, and does it all over and over again and then asks "ok what else needs to be done"  He works FULL time and then has to come home and be a mom and a dad each night.  How I am worthy of such love and help I will never know or be able to express enough gratitude for each moment.

So on this night I ask for prayers dear readers.  Prayers for me and my family to heal and prayers for others in need.  I am off to put Connor to bed with the help of a dear friend.  I am not aloud to pick Connor up for two weeks and tonight David is at a meeting.  I am so thankful for those who answer the call of those in need.  That is the happiest moment each day for me, when someone says "what do you NEED?" even if it is just a kleenex :-)

No comments:

Post a Comment