Day 101

Well, as time is ticking down towards a surgery that is GOING to happen, just don't know the WHEN, my list gets longer and longer for things to get done before I am down and out and on prescription pain killers again lol....seriously though, how DO people function while on those things?  I just want to close my eyes and look at the pretty colors ;-)

Lots to get done today but I did have some fabulous happy moments in between and for that I am grateful.  Work was really great today and time seems to fly by when I am working with my favorite clients (yes, I have favorites and I am sure doctor's have favorites, and dentists, etc).  In between work I was able to mail out a bunch of Christmas cards....not such a happy moment trying to peel the stamps and put them on the envelopes with flaring hands, but I did start laughing after a while because I figured out how to squash the stamp down with the previous letter.  So if you get a card with a stamp that is totally off center, just think how much effort went into just putting it ON your envelope :-)  After the post office I headed over to one of my favorite little restaurants for a quick yummy lunch and then grocery shopping and then back to work.

After work tonight I went to get Joel because David had a late Dr. appt (he hasn't been feeling to good lately, but hopefully he is all better soon...the man deserves some rest though!) Joel and I went for a quick bite, just the two of us (Connor was at home with his favorite babysitter still) As I was paying the bill, Joel told the cashier "I am so luck! I love going to dinner with just my mom!" AW...sweet moment for me!  It was a really nice dinner and we got to talk all about school and other fun things.  While we were away at dinner, my sweet friend Jennifer and her son stopped by to drop off some wonderful treats at our door.  It was so nice to come home to loving things left for us after such a busy day.  One word my friends...YUM!  Joel, Connor, and I all enjoyed our little surprise tremendously.  Hopefully when David feels better, if there is anything left lol, he will get to enjoy a sweet treat as well.  So grateful for the love of friends and neighbors.  As Jennifer said tonight "it is so important to remember that 2nd commandment of love your neighbor as yourself." Blessed blessed blessed are we!

We came home and I gave Connor a bath and gave him some tickles.  He was so excited when I came home!  Such a happy guy sometimes and it was nice to be missed!  The kids all got tucked away into their snuggly world and I was able to chat with my friend on the phone for a bit.  Such a nice night and hopefully tomorrow will bring more sunshine...and preferably cold weather because I would really like to wear my boots again!  Have a good night all!

Day ONE HUNDRED!

100 Days of blogging....wow!  I was amazed at 10 days, and I am now astonished at 100 days!  It has gone by really fast as well!  The one thing I have heard in the past few days as I tell people I am headed into my 5th surgery of the year is "but you have such a positive attitude/outlook, I am amazed at all you have gone through but you are still so happy."  I don't know if I could be this way without my blog.  It has TRULY helped me keep things in perspective.  True, I am very devout to my religion as well which teaches that we are here on this earth to be tried and tested and made to walk through the refiners fire.  But I don't really think I could do much of any of that or have the outlook that I have without my blog.  Every day I wake up and if I want to blog at the end of my day, I had better darn well find a couple of happy moments!  It amazes me that even on the roughest of days, there are still little nuggets of joy to be found.  Sometimes not even nuggets, sometimes little flecks of joy....but add them all together (100 days worth if you will) and what a rich person I am!  I am blessed, and I can't go around with a sour look on my face, crying all of the time, because that isn't how I FEEL.  I feel so beyond blessed to be able to find the joy each day.  The trials are coming.  EVERYONE has them, and I am a very average person in this world of many problems.  But I have this blog....so yea for technology lol.

Today went by very quickly!  David came home sick from work and rested while Connor took a nap.  I took Joel to Occupational Therapy, and then we headed over to the mall for a while to keep the house quiet.  We had a lovely time and had fun looking at fun toys, shopping around, seeing Santa (no line what so ever and Joel STILL didn't want to say hi lol) writing a letter to Santa at Macy's (Dear Santa, I would like a Bop It for Christmas, love Joel) So sweet!  Then we went to the little Crepe shop and had a crepe with strawberries, bananas, chocolate sauce, and Chantilly cream.  It was a delightful time with him and we had fun talking and walking.  Such a happy moment to have with just ONE kiddo :-)

On the drive back home, we ran into my friend Jennifer with her son out on the street.  We had a lovely chat and it was so great seeing her!  She is such a lovely person...she has this light that you just want to BE in and when you have to leave it, you feel sad....ever had a friend like that?  If not, you should!  They are good for the soul :-)

Well that pretty much sums up  my day.  Just a Tuesday putting up more Christmas decorations before being hospitalized, and trying to clean up this place a bit.  If I can get all of the clothes put away, I can call the cleaners to come clean my home for me....you don't want to see me try to vacuum...it isn't a pretty picture...ok just picturing it makes me laugh, so maybe it's a funny picture.  Want to get an even bigger laugh? Try sweeping dirt into a dust pan with one arm with a dust pan and broom....comedy hour at my house!  The chin does come in handy.  Some time soon I will have to blog about all the things I have learned to do one armed in the last 7 months...some are pretty good!  Have a good night all and stay positive!

Day 99

Ok how weird!  I swear I posted this last night, turned off the computer, and headed to bed!  When I checked today, here it was in DRAFT form...so here is last night's post :-)

Hello on day 99 of this blog!  WOW! Can't wait for day 100 tomorrow....only 265 days to go then...amazing!  I want to thank those special people who e-mailed or talked to me today about yesterday's blog.  It meant so much and I am so sorry I didn't get back to you...but what a beautiful e-mail one of you wrote and I treasure those precious, encouraging words.  I am a blessed friend!

So today I worked for a bit at my dad's work going over paperwork and making sure it got filled out correctly.  Most people know what my dad does, but if the paperwork is NOT filled out correctly, then he goes to jail, so it is really really important that it gets triple and quadruple checked by people!  It was nice to order lunch and have it brought to us.  My mom and I always have some great conversations as we go over the work and I am grateful for those special moments!

I didn't get to go to work at all today.  I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, but then the appointment took 4 hours.  2 of which I hope most people NEVER have to go through!  I won't say much (mostly because I complained enough on Facebook tonight lol) but go ahead and look up Electromyography if you are just dying to know what kind of torture chamber I was in for two hours.  Ok one FUNNY thing from there.  I asked the doctor (small talk while he was electrocuting me over and over again) what the history of the EMG and nerve stimulation was.  He told me he didn't know.  About an hour into the procedure I told him "oh I am pretty sure I know the history of EMG now.  Probably WWI or WWII some government figured out you could run electrical current through a person's body and it was a form of torture to get them to talk"  He got a good laugh out of it. :-) Glad I could give him a happy moment.  On the way out he even said "Thanks for the history lesson on the EMG tonight!  I am gonna have to remember that one!" Happy moment for the doctor-1 Happy moments for me-um...not so much :-)

I stopped by the mall right after the appointment to "decompress" after the procedure.  I actually was able to get a couple of things I could never have gone over and carefully picked out if I had the children with me so that worked out well.  I drove home and stopped by a person's house that I had happened upon last Saturday.  They are a family that just happened to have had a Pekinese dog, but it died a while back.  The man told me to please think of them if the owner of Miniwheat didn't call us.  So tonight, no phone call, I went over to their home.  The man told me he thought about calling me almost right then, but was sure the dog had been picked up by its owners.  He and his wife and two kids were more than happy to take the little guy in and so tonight, as a family, we took Miniwheat to his new (possibly temporary) home.  They were so kind and excited to get a chance at giving love to a Pekinese.  I told David "how would YOU feel if someone dropped off a sweet Golden Retriever at our door?" yep, same way!  So Miniwheat is off with his new family, hopefully with a new name, and I am happy to see a family filled with such joy over a dog :-)

After that, the kids went to bed and I went to making myself relaxed in a hot bath that included eating some See's candy I bought at the mall, drinking a tall glass of cold milk, and watching an episode of Gilmore Girls on my DVD player...LOVED IT!  So I am headed to bed a lot more relaxed.  I think my cats are ALSO headed to bed a lot more relaxed tonight as well!  I wish all of you nothing but happy moments tomorrow and in the days to come...Christmas is coming and I am feeling the joy of the season!

Day 98

Still have "Miniwheat"  We are really hoping his family discovers him missing soon!  I feel so bad for the little guy.  He was so happy here today and has started eating and wagging his tail more.  I sure hope his family comes to get him soon because I don't want to have to send him to yet another house where he has to adjust to a new place and a new name most likely LOL.

Today was all about Church and getting our tree up and decorated.  Church was lovely and the ladie's organization had a lesson on charity and service.  It was a beautiful lesson.  People are able to raise their hands and give their thoughts, and a lot of people had some wonderful thoughts.  The teacher posed some interesting questions, however, and I was frozen with fear (having been given SO SO SO much service from our members of our congregation in month's past) about her questions.  Here are just a couple "what if you are serving a person you don't like?" and "what if the person you are serving is ungrateful."  OH!  All I could think was, "are there people who have served me out of pity and they really don't LIKE me?!"  Another thought I had was "I have been served by dozens and dozens of people in the last 7 months and the only Thank You note I have written so far is to the lady in our ward who is also an ER nurse....I felt it REALLY necessary to thank her for her duties to me at 2 AM when I threw up in front of her"  Does that make me ungrateful?  I have SAID Thank You, but should I be sitting down and getting busy with Thank You notes?  I could TEXT thank you to people but would that really be enough?  A) I try to be likable....I make it a point to not offend people and BEFORE Daisy's death it used to break my heart to think someone DIDN'T like me.  POST Daisy's death I know all I can do is try to be kind and leave people up to their own choices in life.  If someone gets offended or ticked off that I am constantly being cut open....I am happy to share that I share some of what they feel....see? I can be supportive lol :-) AND B) I am so beyond grateful for people who have helped me out.  Sometimes, after a person has done something for me, I cry tears of gratitude for being in cared for and thought of....I am a nobody in this world.  I am one tiny person in a sea of millions and I am blessed to have just ONE person help me out.  I just hope after surgery #5 next month no one think I believe I am OWED some help or anything like that.
It was a good lesson, and just reinforced in me that even though I can't lift heavy things, or help another physically very much right now....I can be there for others and serve...I NEED to, because I love helping other people.  Staying out of the ME zone, and firmly in what can I do for ANOTHER today, is the only way I am going to get through these trials I am having.

So onto the Christmas tree....it is up, it is LIT up, and the ornaments are on!  It was really fun to get to put most of them on with Joel tonight.  We don't have a fancy tree with ornaments bought at Pottery Barn.  Our tree takes the tradition that my parents did for my Christmas tree growing up.  Each year, we buy a couple (or some years just one) ornaments that relate to something special or meaningful that occurred in our lives.  On our first very TINY Christmas tree in my bedroom at my parent's house, David and I started with just two "Our First Christmas" ornaments.  In the 9 Christmas' since then, we have quite a few precious ornaments and memories made that I was able to share with Joel.  He got to put up a lot of his "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments and I put up David's grad school and Phd and my grad school ornament.  I have several Disneyland ornaments that mean a lot to David and me.  It was just such a nice time and it is a great way to re-live moments at the end of the year. No, I will not be putting an ornament of a hospital bed on the tree this year...although in years to come sure hope we will look back and say "remember 2011? that was THE worst year of our lives"  one can only hope....

Well, I am off to take Mini wheat out to potty one last time and then read some of the magazines I downloaded on the tablet....I am sure glad we have that thing!  It is going to come in handy at the hospital this next time for sure!

Day 97

Still have the dog, hoping he finds his family soon!  I feel so bad for the little fella.  Onto Happy Moments, gonna put them in bullet form tonight because my arm is getting worse these days and can only stand to type for so long.

• Well we got the lights up outside and HALF of the Christmas Tree up inside AND all of the boxes down and furniture rearranged and tops of things cleaned off for the decorations.  It was a pretty productive time and all while listening to Christmas music!  Connor danced around and Joel was able to help a little bit this year.  Hope he is able to help more tomorrow when I put out the Nativity Scenes...I remember doing that each year with MY mom and it was great!
• So we have moved on from "Mushu" to "Mini-wheats" yep, that is what the dog consistently came to today when my kids called him.  And since BOTH  children can say that word with little effort, that is what we stuck to today....and so we tried really hard to find the owners of "Mini-wheats" 
• I printed off signs today with "DOG FOUND" and plastered them up one side of the town, tomorrow I will do the other.  I hit up the grocery stores, the two veteranarian offices, the local pet shop, the local candy shop, the local pizza shop, and the local toy store to put up signs in their windows.  I had people post it on their Facebook profiles and I posted "Mini-wheats's?" pic on my profile as well.  I sure hope that all does it! It was really great helping him today.  It isn't often I get to actually feel like I am HELPING these days.  When I offer to help people I usually get a "oh but you have SO much going on in your life!" yeah, but that doesn't mean I need to focus on it 24/7!  Sometimes it is really helpful to think of OTHERS!  And so spending the better part of my day putting up signs and talking to people about finding our little visitor's family was really nice!

And there is my day in a nutshell.  I am really looking forward to breakfast and then more tree putting up and decorating!  Church should be good and then dinner with my parents....sounds like the perfect Sunday to me.  Hope everyone who is traveling makes it home safely this weekend!

Day 96

Well, we have a dog in our home....lol and it is not exactly what you think!  Tonight my neighbor came over to say hello and visit for a bit.  She lives directly across our courtyard and they are moving...I will miss her so much!  She had a dog with her I didn't recognize...turns out the dog just walked into her home today from out of no where!  They took him to an animal Urgent Care, but he didn't have a collar and isn't chipped...so sad!  He is a sweet little Pekinese dog.  I told her we would be happy to watch the little guy and put up lost dog posters for them.  After all, they are moving in less than 24 hours and trying to pack, she has a difficult time due to her shoulder being immobile (I have such sympathy pains for that woman!) AND she has an auto-immune disease...so trying to move is stressful enough!  It was such a happy moment to take the doggie and the kids had SO much fun petting him and running around with him tonight.  I am just grateful he is little...I don't think my arm could do anything bigger than him right now.  So hopefully there is someone out there missing their dog and will be reunited with him soon....for now I am calling him "Mushu" LOL because I started saying names like "come here Squishy!....here Meeshy!.....ok how about Pooodu, Mushu?" finally his ears perked up a bit at Mushu, and there you have it.  Joel couldn't stop laughing as he said, "Mommy you are talking funny!" I felt bad that the little guy didn't have a name, and most dogs names either end with a EE sound or an UU sound :-)

LOTS of decorating accomplished today.  We got half of the lights outside done, and insdie we have the tree down from the rafters in the garage.  More boxes to come tomorrow.  Hopefully by tomorrow the house will be transformed to Christmas perfection!  Does anyone else have a rather TENSE time with their spouse while trying to decorate? 

Joel and I took a break from decorating today while David stayed home with Connor and got some house work and piano practicing in.  We went and say The Muppets.  It was such a great movie and boy did it take me back!  I used to love watching all of those Muppet shows.  One show that Joel watches with me now is Fraggle Rock...that show still cracks me up, is a bit WEIRDER than I remember it, and Joel laughs a lot when watching it.

Overall it was a nice day today and those are some of the best happy moments of my day.  Half of the outside of my home is SO pretty!  I can't wait to see what the finished product looks like tomorrow!  I am off to bed.  Little "Mushu" is downstairs in a crate our neighbors loaned to us.  Here is to a good Friday night and a great weekend!

Day 95

What a day!  I sure hope Christmas is a happy day...or I guess New Year's Eve is the LAST holiday of the year...today was good, but the Mann family likes to keep it interesting let me tell ya!  All three of my guys are sick and we spent most of the night up with Connor giving him a combo of Motrin and Tylenol to knock down his 106 fever.  Called the on call nurse at CHOC and she told me we were doing everything right.  Connor was happy as a clam at 10 O clock tonight in a luke-warm bath.  They all seemed so fine at dinner!  So onto my happy thoughts for the day and then I have to get up at 1 AM to check on Connor one last time.  If his fever is still pretty much gone, we are good for the night!  If not, it'll be Motrin time and then set my alarm for 4AM for the Tylenol run...don't you wish you were ME right now??  Ok this IS kinda funny...I am the HEALTHY one out of my family so that is why I am doing the med administrations.  Is it WRONG that we are laughing our way through this night and when we thought we had to take Connor to the ER, we were borderline hysterical??  Not funny HA HA but more like...what...what else could there POSSIBLY BE AT THIS POINT!  Bring it on Christmas!!!


But seriously...never defy the universe...not a good idea...so we will just go with the flow, be grateful all is well right now and move on shall we?

So dinner tonight was just LOVELY.  We had such a great time working our way through the buffet and David and I had this whole battle strategy for getting the kids and us food as fast as possible.  It worked out really well and in the end, we got to eat everything that we wanted to....ok there was the missed trip to the pasta bar, but really...I was NOT carb loading today...it was ALL about the turkey!  That turkey was so wonderful and juicy and I didn't regret for a second not being able to make my turkey this year!  HAPPY!  The view we were treated to during dinner was simply wonderful.  The sun set behind Catalina Island and we could see all the way to Palos Verde.  The trees were all lit up with twinkling sparkly lights by the time we came out after dinner and the drive down the big hill was really fun for us and the kids....Connor, "down down down down!" It is a pretty steep hill!


After dinner, we came home and I did a little pre-Black Friday shopping.  A lot of the websites have their sales up online already and it was great to get almost 100% of my shopping done tonight.  I need to get everything I can done this weekend!  Some of the websites even offered gift wrapping for a fee..um...yes please!  The pathetic attempt I made at wrapping a gift for Joel's friend's birthday present told me there would be NO wrapping of gifts for me this year.  With another surgery, my arm will for sure be out of commission, so I am thankful websites offered that! 

Well, that is pretty much it for today.  I am so thankful for a day that is all about BEING thankful.  I am thankful for so many things.  I treasure my dear friends, I love my sweet, precious family, and I am so thankful to be alive!  Each day I get to wake up and breath and enjoy life's little precious moments!  I am so lucky to get to have happy moments each day!  95 days worth of documented happy moments thus far...I can't wait to see what comes next.  Happy Thanksgiving all!
It was great to sit around and talk after we were done eating and the boys behaved so well!

Day 94 DEEP Thoughts

When I am in my car, even with the kids, that is my place that I do the best thinking.  I have gone over almost every situation from the very recent all the way back to high school in my car.  I think about things past, and I think about things yet to come.  I have done a lot of crying and driving in my day.  It works because the kids are behind me and can't see my tears.  Tonight, I did a lot of thinking.  I shed maybe a tear or two, and then continued to think.  I can't really have a break down over any of what is going on right now...what is the point?  What is going to be WILL be with tears or no tears, fear or no fear.  Asking WHY ME is one of the most pointless things to do in life and wishing something had just "never happened in the first place" is a bit too simple for a 7 month long streak of emotional and physical waves of pain. 

Today I found out that I will have to have yet another surgery for my arm.  Bless my sweet doctor and his genuine concern for my well being, my children, and my husband.  Would that all doctors could have the bedside manner this man has had these past months.  He is sorry to have to do another surgery, but also worried because I have lost the use of a majority of my arm movements, and even with a broken humerus, "it isn't supposed to do that."  I have some tests scheduled for this coming Monday and I pray for answers.  One way or another, I pray for my arm to start moving and being useful to not only myself, but my family once more.

Happy moments were few and far between today, but that is why we SO needed to get away this past week!  I am sure glad we did and I held on two fisted (because my hands are at least still working) to those happy moments from days past.  Connor was extra snugly today and I will take that any day from him!  He let me rub his little back as he placed his head on my shoulder after waking up from his nap.  We had fun reading stories and playing with cars.

Work was good and then I had my Dr appointment.  Joel met up with me at the doctor and I wanted to take him out for a mommy lunch after, but he has some sort of flu today.  So home we went and he went straight to bed....which told me he really WAS sick because 5 yr olds fight naps every step of the way in this house.
David came home late and then at about 10 tonight we signed our loan documents for our re-finance...happy moment to be saving a little bit more money each month.  That money will go BACK into our savings to pay off all of the medical bills from this year...it will take a while, but happy moment when we are financially stable once more :-)  I haven't had cancer....got the all clear from the ENT earlier this year on the pathology report.  I actually DO have an extremely expensive disease that is killing me, but that has sort of been placed on the back burner...I know right?  For now, just going to try and meditate and do some more thinking.  Too late for a drive tonight, but perhaps tomorrow on the way to Thanksgiving dinner.  I look forward to being thankful all day tomorrow.  Night all :-)

day 92 and 93 continued

ok, so I finished my post and tried to publish it, and the computer froze on me...do I possess some kind of virus in my fingers where I damage electronics?!  Well, the rest of the pics didn't take, so there is the hot chocolate.  Then we went to Horton Plaza and saw Breaking Dawn part 1.  It was so wonderful and I am grateful David enjoyed it!  Then we headed to our next hotel that used to be a mansion owned by the former owner of the Hotel Del Coronado.  Ironic that now his mansion is a competing hotel.  We stayed in one of the mansion rooms and was it BEAUTIFUL!  A king size bed with fluffy pillows, a feather bed, and a down comforter.  It was really cold so I was grateful  for all of those things!  In the afternoon they serve herbal tea, lemonade, and gingersnaps.  We grabbed some of that, and I sat on the bed and read books from our tablet.  That was for sure one of my happiest moments...it was so peaceful and quiet in that room.  The chamomile tea made me feel so cozy, and as a mom to two noisy BOYS, I felt very girly :-)  That night we ate at a great restaurant right next door to the hotel.  Happy moments!

Tuesday: this morning we woke up by having breakfast delivered to our door on a tray.  We ate breakfast in bed, read the newspaper they gave us, watched some of the morning shows ( and I didn't have to pause it and go back to hear what the people were saying like I do at home! LOL)  That room was just so lovely and I am so grateful for the good night's sleep!  Poor David woke up feeling sick so we skipped our scheduled trip to the temple and walked across the street to the Hotel Del to get some fresh sea air...and I did some shopping :-)  David sat out on the patio and got some quiet happy moments while I found Christmas gifts galore!

We headed home and picked up the boys at my dad's work.  When Connor saw me he yelled "Mama!" and came running and ran into my arms...SUCH a great moment!  It was good to be back and we all came home and took naps today.  We had a nice family dinner together tonight and I think we were all a little bit kinder and happier during our bedtime routine tonight.  It is nice to get a break from reality once in a while.  Tomorrow I get my next X-ray and find out if I have to have another surgery.  I pray I don't, but I am at peace with whatever decision is made.  I have found a way to find happy moments in each day...despite some days being BEYOND crappy.  Thankfully, the last three days have been wonderful, and I am happy to have had that. :-)

Days 91, 92 and 93 I'm BACK!

Hello all!  What a wonderful few days it has been!  I wasn't able to blog during my time down in San Diego, and then I just didn't want to....I figured I would soak up all the happy moments I could and write about then when I got back...a travel log AND a happy moment blog all in one!  What a gift to spend a couple of days alone with my sweet husband, he didn't have to take care of me ONCE, AND no dishes, no laundry, no cleaning at all...I am pretty sure he even enjoyed the Twilight movie as much as I did because we watched while on vacation lol. So I will do a day by day happy moment and I have combined them into a three day blog.....but the blog is still here!

Sunday: Well, Sunday started out with my phone crashing...it IS a computer afterall and it started freezing and getting stuck.  We did a factory reset on it and I took it to Verizon to get some help right before we left for vacation (I didn't want to be phoneless with 2 kids not with me!) They told me the same thing I knew...the phone was beyond help and I was eligible to get a new one, so I got the latest and greatest Droid phone!  See, when you make a purchase of a NEW devise, by the next day it is already becoming obsolete because something else will be 6 months right behind it.  So I got the newest phone, and after what I paid for it, I am hoping to have it for a LOT longer than my two year contract!

The drive down to San Diego was treacherous and I was SO happy when we finally pulled into the hotel parking lot!  We hydroplaned and saw so many accidents!  There was a huge sigh of relief to make it down there.  Then we ordered hot chocolates from room service and settled in for the night.  Our room had 2 queen beds so we both got to stretch out with lots of fluffy pillows and sleep in!  Happiness!

MONDAY:
After sleeping in for the first time since I was in the hospital (seriously the only time I rest is after my operations LOL) We got ready, checked out, and headed to our local favorite restaurant called Hash House a Go Go.  Now, this restaurant has been shown on Man Vs. Food...because that is how large the portion servings are!  We got a hot chocolate that was big enough to hold 5 regular sized marshmallows in it!  Then we ordered griddle french toast....so yummy!  We had their waffles before and so far, NOTHING has disappointed us!  Here are some pics of the food